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Let's Talk About Being Overwhelmed

Trauma is the Greek word for “wound” - wound or wounding … Oftentimes cleft can trigger a deeper wounding for us as parents, we are consciously unaware of this.

For me this didn’t show itself for 7+ years and looked like -

Switching from total overwhelm to high functioning organisational energy


Seemingly tolerating all sorts of things happening around me, for one apparently small thing to then create a total emotional breakdown or eruption

Unconscious of my CAPACITY TO COPE

Feeling like my head was in a vice and experiencing really intense emotions which made me drive for hours.


I am a driven, interested, empathetic, sensitive woman. I taught in secondary school classrooms across the world for years; very successfully. I loved my job and I felt I had a really positive impact on the young people in my classroom. I loved being creative with them and inspiring that connection within them.

What on earth was happening in my life this loop kept repeating.

Some days I didn’t want to get out of bed and on occasion I didn’t.

Then I would pick myself up - crack on, things would shift a little, but always, only temporarily.

Trauma caused these things. I was in the middle of huge trauma responses and had no idea that was what it was.

It was not until I began to work with my system and process my lived experiences that I began to see a shift in my external reality. It always starts inside of us.

I am super passionate about talking these things through because I do not want another woman to find herself where I was. Cleft is a specific parenting journey. The issues that arise may differ from mother to mother, dependant on her lived experiences, however the similarities between us are also more than just coincidental.

As humans we have some pretty fundamental requirements to FEEL (body) and KNOW (front part of the brain) we are SAFE.

To be connected to self and others

To feel seen by self and others

To be heard by self and others

When we do not feel SAFE we disconnect from SELF. When we are anxious, fearful, overwhelmed, disconnected, we are not present.

We move into a fight/flight nervous system response, this in itself is the body mobilising energy to remove ourselves from the situation, we are no longer present in the moment and in the room so to speak.

Our nervous system tells the story of our lived experiences. When a mother hears or senses the shift in the room when cleft may first be noticed, her system will automatically go on high alert - scanning for danger.

What can you see?

What is wrong?

At this point, a lot of information can be given to mothers and families, some of it you may have never even heard of before - cue, more to wrap your head around when your system is in a fight/flight or maybe even freeze response. In this place nothing is going to be able to be processed objectively.

Hence OVERWHELM. We can also normalise this, because we are so used to feeling this way. It may not be something you are even consciously aware of.

Once experienced and felt, consciously or not, unless worked through and processed on a mind, body and soul level. Your system will continually scan the environment for danger.. when it senses it you will respond in the most familiar patterns to you.

The cleft parenting experience is full of unknowns and twists and turns. Therefore the potential to feel overwhelmed is never far away.

If you would like to have a free chat with me then please click on the link below, I am here for you x

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